


Broken Bird

by saurgristiel



Category: Gackt (Musician) RPF, Hyde (Musician) - Fandom
Genre: Abduction, Inappropriate touching, Injury, M/M, Violence
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-06
Updated: 2018-05-06
Packaged: 2019-05-03 05:49:22
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 16,621
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14562231
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/saurgristiel/pseuds/saurgristiel
Summary: 3 years after Hideto became lord, something bad happens.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> A pseudo-sequel to [](https://b-sim.livejournal.com/profile)[b_sim](https://b-sim.livejournal.com/)’s wonderful original [~Scattered Petals~](http://scatterpetals.livejournal.com/). She also fleshed this story out. It’s actually about 4 years old ^^;;
> 
> Originally posted to Livejournal on February 18, 2015.

Satoru smiled as he walked down the street. Even though it was dark, it was still warm out and the villagers were still decorating for the upcoming festival. The lanterns gave everything a warm glow and the mood of the people warmed Satoru’s heart. There was still a long way to go, but Hideto had done amazing things in the last 3 years.

In the past, Satoru had never seen this many smiling faces before. Children ran past him, healthy and overjoyed and he couldn't help but feel happy that they hadn't had to go through what he had as a child. As a child, he had seen death many times and came close to it several times himself. Takarai Kenichi was not a man who could bring himself to care about the people living in his country. He didn't care if they had homes or clothes or food. He didn't even bother to clean up the messes that raids left, Satoru included.

The servant wondered how it was possible that such a cruel man could be related to his lover, the one who had fixed the messes his father had left behind. His people were no longer starving, thanks to the alliance he had formed with Shinano. The latter provided them with rice in exchange for protection – who wouldn't want The Demon on their side? It was a good deal and, Satoru guessed, one that many countries had been waiting for.

Slowly, but surely, their country began to prosper. With food and a new lord, the people of Izu had faith that they would be able to live the lives that they had been dreaming of. Very quickly, more stores were opened, more goods were sold and traded and, in just a few months, they had gotten enough money to create a port. One of Izu's best assets was that it was by the ocean, unlike other countries. The new port allowed traders to do their business and the tax earned went to the town and the people, of course.

Looking at Izu now, it was hard to believe it had _only_ been three years. The town was beautiful and prospering now, filled with people who were always smiling. The sight enveloped Satoru in a feeling of belonging. It was a lovely night.

But Satoru wasn’t out just for the beautiful walk, he was on a mission. Ken had (actually!) recommended a little shop in town and Satoru was on his way there. He knew where it was but he had never been inside.

He ducked into an alley, away from the brightness of the lanterns, using a shortcut he knew of from his childhood. About halfway through the alley, someone bumped into him. Satoru turned and apologized, but didn’t hear one from whoever he was bumped by.

As he bowed his head for a second time, someone grabbed him around the waist from behind and clapped a hand over his mouth. He struggled, but got squeezed tighter. The hand squeezed his cheeks tightly and the man he’d been bumped by put something in his mouth. It was sour and Satoru was about to spit it out when the hand covered his mouth and pinched his nose. He brought his hands up and managed to pry the finger and thumb from his nose, but he started feeling dizzy. Whatever it was was dissolving. He swallowed and started to sway on his feet.

He unwillingly slouched in the man’s arms and was slowly lowered to the ground. His head tipped to the side and he stared down the alley as they tied his ankles. He thought that he saw Hideto in the lantern light and reached out to him, only to get his wrist taken and tied to his other.

As his consciousness slowly faded, he felt himself being loaded into a cart and a blanket pulled over him. Shortly after they started moving, he blacked out.

~*~*~*~*~*~


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hideto worries and Satoru meets his abductors.

"He should be home by now..." Hideto said softly, staring out the [fusuma](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fusuma%E2%80%9D) to the backyard and to the sky. It was getting darker and darker. Colder too and Hideto distinctly remembered that all Satoru had on when he left was a thin yukata. He turned to look at Ken who sat across from him at the other side of the table. "I should go look for him."

"I'm sure he's fine. He's probably just busy ogling all the wood carvings in Honobu-san's store. I thought he'd be interested in it," Ken said, trying to stay optimistic, but even he had to admit that he felt something was wrong. Satoru usually _would_ have been home by now. He would either be folding the laundry or preparing whatever he needed to make tomorrow's breakfast or something.

"...I'm not taking any chances." Hideto got up and tucked his short sword into his obi. He glanced at Ken. "Coming?"

Ken sighed and got to his feet as well, though a part of him sighed in relief – he had been getting kind of worried too. "Alright, let's go.”

~*~*~*~*~*~

“Wha~at?”

“Come on, he’s too tall.”

“But he’s too pretty to be a man.”

“He is, but boss checked and he was a little surprised too…”

“Really?”

Satoru’s eyes fluttered open and from their lack of response, he knew they weren’t paying attention to him. He actually wished Hideto was there to tease him about being so pretty. He was tied up on his side, and it was light out, meaning he had no idea how long he’d been out. He heard coins clink.

“We’d probably get more for his belongings than for him. The boss should just sell his stuff and kill him.”

“No…” Escaped his lips before he could stop it. The men turned to him.

“So you’re awake. About time…”

“Boss will be glad to know.”

“Wh-who are you?”

One of the men wagged a knife at him. “You don’t talk. We talk.”

Satoru shrank back and nodded. The other one got up and left the room.

“You really a man?”

Satoru nodded.

“Jeez man… This world is weird…” He turned and bowed as he heard footsteps coming. The fusuma slid open and a less scruffy-looking man walked in.

“I thought you gave him the normal amount?” This new man asked.

“We did, sir. That’s always pre-measured.”

“So why did it take him 16 hours to wake up?”

Satoru’s eyes widened and he guessed that it was mid-afternoon.

“W-we don’t know, sir.”

“Find out.” He pointed at the door and the two cronies scurried away. The boss closed the fusuma and knelt beside Satoru’s things.

“You’ve got nice things… Where are you from?”

Satoru was afraid to speak.

“Whatever they told you, it’s not like I’ll cut your tongue out if you answer my questions. Where are you from?”

“I-I work at the Lord Takarai’s castle.”

“What’s your job? Boy concubine?”

“No. I’m the Lord’s head servant.” He wasn’t going to tell whoever this guy was that he and Hideto were lovers. Even though it was just implied…

“Ah, so you _are_ important to him.”

Satoru's eyes widened at those words and he cursed himself in his mind – he had just given these men leverage. He hated to think of what they would request of Hideto. In any case, it was too late to say anything else now. He should have just lied and said he was serving another samurai or something along those lines. Everyone knew that, in such situations, any association with the lord could either save or endanger your life. It would have been wiser to keep quiet until he found out which case it would be. Exactly what did these men want?

Satoru stayed quiet. The man took out a piece of paper and wrote on it.

“W-what do you want?”

“ _I_ ask the questions.”

“S-sorry…” The man got up and came towards Satoru, taking out a small knife on his way. Satoru backed up to the best of his ability, but the man stepped on his wrists. Not hard enough to hurt, but enough to get his point across.

“P-please…” Satoru was shaking and started to feel light-headed. The man removed his foot and sat beside Satoru.

“Give me your hand.”

“N-no…” Satoru had heard stories of people getting fingers or toes cut off as punishment and in kidnappings. He pulled his hands closer to his face.

“Give. It. To. Me.”

Satoru felt a hand on his right wrist. “Please don’t…” He pleaded softly. Tears welled up in his eyes. The hand slid down his hand and to his pinky. He flinched, fearing what was to come.

Satoru screamed as the man yanked and twisted his little finger, taking his flinch as resisting. Satoru didn’t notice that the man made a small cut in that finger and smeared it on the paper. Satoru was shaking badly now as the man let go. Tears were pouring down his cheek from the excruciating pain.

“Mizuho!” The man had not missed the cracking noise that Satoru’s finger had made. “Well, we’ll see what this does.” The man stood and nudged Satoru’s knee too hard, and met a woman at the door. They exchanged some words that Satoru couldn’t hear, but the girl reappeared a few moments later with a small box. She closed the fusuma and sat properly by the shaking and crying servant.

“I’m sorry for my brother’s actions.” She tried to gently take his wrist, but the traumatized servant pulled it away. He flinched when she brushed some hair from his face. “I’m here to help you. My brother isn’t really all _that_ evil… He’s just trying to help our village…”

“I want to go home…” Satoru hiccupped as he tried to calm down. _Home… with Hideto_ …

“Where are you from? Your yukata is very nice…” She ran her hand down his upper arm, feeling the fabric. Her own, flower-patterned yukata was not of such quality. Probably the cheapest there was.

“T-Takarai…” She stopped, her hand near his elbow.

“The Lord of this land?”

Satoru reluctantly nodded, hoping she wouldn’t get as violent as her brother.

“Do you know that bastard?” Her hand tightened in his sleeve fabric.

Satoru narrowed his eyes slightly in confusion – he couldn't understand how _anyone_ could refer to Hideto as that. In the past, it would've been normal, but not now. Not after he had done so much for the people and not after Haido had already been accepted by society.

“He’s not like that… He’s done a lot of good…”

“Wait… You’re not talking about Takarai Kenichi… you can’t be…”

“No…” He hicced. “His oldest son, Hideto, took over for him…”

She gasped and removed her hand, “The Demon?”

“You… didn’t know?”

“We’re so far out that even from my grandmother, we don’t really feel or know when power changes hands.”

“He’s only like that on the battlefield…” Satoru whispered, despite himself. He finally noticed how much his finger had bled. “That’s a lot…”

“Huh? Oh! I’m sorry! Shhh, don’t tell…” She untied his wrists so she could do a better job on his finger. He squirmed and cried out as she cleaned and examined it. She tied a small bandage onto the cut and let him rest a bit, cleaning his other hand and seeing what his hands looked like.

“You have soft hands…” she ran her fingers over his uninjured hand.

He was feeling lightheaded again. “I’m his… personal servant… I… don’t do much…” he panted. “Do you have any food?”

“Ummm…” She set his hand down and searched her sleeves. She pulled out a wrapped _something_. “Is a mochi ball okay?” He seemed reluctant to answer. “It’s not poisoned or anything…”

He slowly nodded in acceptance and she placed the unwrapped mochi in his hand. He slowly munched on it, not looking at her. “That’s good…”

“Thank you. I made it before we left.”

“Do... Do you have any more?” Satoru almost didn't dare to ask. But his hunger and the taste of that one mochi prompted him to.

“Not on me, but I think so. I’ll go look, but you don’t get it until I’m done with your finger.” She got up and left the room, but her brother came in too early, irate that his hands were untied.

She rushed back into the room, with a small box, just in time to see him kick Satoru in the ribs. They had a yelling match while Satoru tried to breathe, having had the wind knocked out of him. Apparently Mizuho won.

“If you damage him more, you won’t get what you want!”

“Make sure he’s tied back up.” And he stormed out.

“I’m so sorry…” She set the box down and reached into his yukata to check his ribs. It was excruciating but they were apparently fine. “I am so sorry… He has anger issues… but you probably figured that out…

“Let me see your hand…” She held out hers in kindness. He really didn’t want anything to do with these people anymore. But he figured she’d wait until he was asleep or unconscious to continue, so he let her have his hand again.

More excruciating pain, crying and screaming followed as she corrected his finger. She had let him roll onto his back and she switched sides. Somehow, he had managed not to pass out. He stared up at the ceiling while she finished wrapping his hand. There was a 3-sided splint around his pinky and his ring finger was wrapped with it for stability. The splint went nearly to his wrist.

“Why me…?” He wheeze-whispered to the ceiling. He wasn’t _angry_ , particularly, just in pain and he felt miserable. He missed Hideto. He wondered what the man was doing now. Most likely searching high and low for him and sending out his men to search for him too.

“Hmm? I think you were just random…” She finished and laid his hand on his stomach. “Do you want another mochi?”

He sniffed and shook his head. The stress had taken away his appetite.

She sat with him for a while, trying to talk to him, but he wouldn’t keep the conversation going. He didn’t struggle when she gave up and tied his wrists again, looser than before, leaving him the mochi box and to his thoughts.

He closed his eyes, and while he wasn’t very tired, he tried to meditate.

_Hideto, Haido, I don’t know which one of you I reached when you fought Itaraki… but I hope I can get to you now… Please come find me… I don’t know where I am, but please_ … He closed his eyes harder and squeezed tears out.

~*~*~*~*~*~  
(Afternoon)

Hideto froze for a moment – he thought he had heard something.

Feelings rushed past him then but something gripped his heart. A strange feeling wrapped around him. Suddenly, he couldn't hear anything but his heart beating and his breathing. He could _feel everything_ but could only hear those two things. He couldn't hear the wind blowing or the birds chirping. Just himself.

Then he heard it. A voice. It was weak, but it was there.

_Please come find me..._.

His lover's name escaped his lips.

_I don't know where I am, but please..._

And as quickly and suddenly as it had come, the feeling disappeared.

He had been worried sick ever since last night. He had soldiers out and about searching for his lover. He himself had searched almost everywhere with Ken. He knew it would be futile doing anything else so he chose to stay home and wait for reports. At the same time, he was starting to wonder how on earth anyone would have found out that they were lovers – he assumed that was why Satoru had been kidnapped.

Hideto was at his desk, _not_ doing work, because he was so worried about his lover. Ken was on the other side of the room, staring at him, when Kazu came in with an envelope. He passed it to Hyde, who ripped it open and read it, disturbed by the smear of blood on the bottom. It was only signed with blood.

“This… isn’t Satoru’s handwriting…” There were directions on the other page. “Yeah right…” He slapped the papers down in anger.

~*~*~*~*~*~


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Satoru is having a hard time.

Satoru opened his eyes a few hours later when his stomach growled. He looked to his side and saw the box-with-the-mochi that Mizuho had left. He managed to roll onto his side and reach the box, finding several kinds inside. He slowly munched on one and felt slightly better. There was, however, a growing discomfort in his lower regions and a clenching feeling in his abdomen. He bit his lip, hoping that the next person to walk through that fusuma would be Mizuho and not her brother – he had a feeling her brother wouldn't be kind enough to let him relieve himself. He sighed, wondering if luck would be on his side today. Just as he thought that, Mizuho came into the room.

“Oh! Are you feeling better?” She knelt beside him and put the lid on the box for him.

“A little… Ummm… I need to…” He squirmed a little.

She gasped in realization. “You haven’t gone since you got here, have you… Hold on.” She disappeared and returned a moment later with 2 of the men. They followed her instructions and carefully helped him up and to the outhouse.

Although it was late afternoon, it was blazing hot outside and blindingly sunny. There was only one tree out there and that was shading the outhouse.

Satoru closed his eyes on his way there, unable to handle the over-bright sun. For a moment, he almost thought that Hideto would come running up to him then, holding an umbrella over his head. But, of course, no such thing happened. The servant felt something get stuck in his throat as he thought that – he didn't want to give up hope, but just _when_ was Hideto coming for him? Or was he so far away from Izu already that it would take several days? Satoru tried not to let these depressing thoughts upset him any further. He had to have faith in his lord. More importantly, he had to have faith in his lover, _his_ Hideto.

The outhouse didn’t smell the best, but he really had to go. He figured out how (in his current situation) and relieved himself. He was pleasantly surprised when the two men hadn't insisted on watching to make sure he wouldn't try anything – they let him keep that much dignity at least. But Satoru had more things to worry about. The smell was making him nauseous and he was beginning to feel faint. He took a couple of steps backwards and leaned against the door, sinking to the floor almost immediately. He started trembling and lost consciousness.

The two men that brought him out there opened the door when they figured he should be done. Satoru fell back onto the grass, surprising them.

“Uh oh…” One of them ran to get Mizuho while the other fanned the unconscious man.

Mizuho came running. She felt Satoru’s forehead. “He’s burning up…”

“He looked fine just-”

“Get him inside.” They started to pick him up. “Carefully!”

They made sure to be careful and Mizuho got a cushion for Satoru’s head to lie on. They placed him on the floor and closed the fusuma. Mizuho rushed around, getting things to tend to him.

She removed his wrist and ankle restraints just as her brother came into the room.

“What are you doing?”

“He’s not going anywhere.” Mizuho retorted.

“What happened?”

“I don’t know. Just let me tend to him.”

“If he die-”

“He won’t.”

Her brother huffed out of the room. _What a mark to pick_ …

She laid a cool cloth on his forehead and loosened the top of his yukata. His hand came up to stop her, like he was having a bad dream. She stroked his cheek and cooed to him. He seemed to calm down, but he was still restless. She noticed a _very_ light scar on his neck, apparently the only one he had, and debated about asking him about it later.

The evening progressed and dinner was brought to her. Satoru had calmed down, but she stayed with him, just in case.

By midnight, she’d fallen asleep, but the noises he was making woke her up. She sat up as he started awake, grasping at his yukata.

“It’s okay…” She covered his hand with hers and his eyes shifted to her. He coughed and took a shaky breath. “Are you okay?”

He whispered, lacking strength, “I want to go home…”

“I know… I’m sure you will be soon.” She patted his hand.

“Why is your brother so mean…?” He wasn’t quite with it due to the fever, but it was a legitimate question.

“I know he’s a bit of a bully, but he has good intentions. And he’s never killed a hostage. But… you are a little wimpy…”

“I’ve had bad health for as long as I can remember… Since I’m here… I haven’t gotten my medicine… Where are we?”

“Our grandfather used to live here, before he got married. It’s a little ways from your town. What’s in your medicine?”

“I don’t know all of it… Tanaka-sensei prepares it every week… It mostly works…”

“Ummm…” She decided against asking him about his scar.

“Could you open the fusuma…?” He could feel that the air had changed, but tomorrow would still be hot.

“Sure. You should get some more rest. I’ll be here if you need me.” By the time she returned from the fusuma, he was asleep.

~*~*~*~*~*~  
-(Next day)-

When Satoru woke next, it was still dark outside, but birds were chirping, telling him that sunrise was approaching. He slowly sat up, the now dry cloth falling onto his lap. He heard a little snore and looked to see Mizuho sleeping. He looked at the fusuma. When he felt a breeze, he thought for a split second that he could probably escape. But then, Mizuho might get into trouble, and Satoru didn’t want that.

He looked between himself and her sleeping form and saw the mochi box. He quietly picked it up and snuck to the doorway. He gently placed it down and managed to sneak to the outhouse and back. He tired himself out with that so he sat just inside the doorway, leaning against the frame. He opened the mochi box and ate a couple.

As he was reaching for a third, a medium-size dog jumped onto the porch, startling him. It was a stray and it looked like a dog that often got into fights, but its huge eyes were brown and warm. It looked friendly, wasn't baring its teeth or growling. But, of course, Satoru knew that looks could be deceiving (he knew this better than anyone else, having lived with Hideto and Haido for years). Satoru hesitated at first, not knowing if it was friendly, but decided to take chance (just like he had with Haido) and offered the mochi to the dog. The dog slowly approached and as it got closer, Satoru saw that it was clean, but a bit scruffy and shaggy. After it finished the mochi, it started sniffing Satoru. It deemed that he was not a threat and laid down beside him. He scratched its head as he ate another mochi.

The dog's presence comforted Satoru. Satoru had always felt that animals were much more honest and kind than most humans, unable to plot or conspire against one another. Satoru had always had a soft spot for animals and he smiled fondly as he thought of Tenshin back home, his beautiful white stallion in the stable with Aku, Hideto's black one. He turned his head to face the dog, petting it and scratching it behind its ear gently, smile widening when the dog's eyes start sliding close, making soft noises that sounded like purrs.

For a while, Satoru managed to escape reality, focusing his attention on this one creature. Satoru wondered if it had lived a tough life, one as tough as his own. But he knew animals couldn't reply so he didn't bother to ask, settling for wondering and just stroking its fur.

A little while later, the birds were chirping a bit more enthusiastically. Satoru reached for another mochi and…

“Don’t!” Mizuho called, reaching out to Satoru. Although he was a kind person, he gave her a ‘What? I’m just sitting here’ look. She blinked a few times and realized that he was _not_ escaping, just sitting. “Oh…”

Unfortunately, it had been enough to startle the dog away. Satoru turned and sadly watched the dog run off into the brightening sky. He missed it already and wondered if it would come back – perhaps it would, since it now knew that there was mochi here.

“Ummm…”

“Just enjoying the weather before it gets hot today…”

“Are you okay?”

He put the mochi down and shook his head. He was still too hot, his pinkie throbbed, and his chest felt tight.

“You should lay back down…” He heard her walk toward him and feel his forehead. “You’re still too warm.”

“I want to watch the sunrise… I’m usually up now anyway.” He started to get up, using the door frame for a little support, and sat on the edge of the porch, leaning against a column. He waved her to join him.

They didn’t have to wait too long before the sky started to change into beautiful colors.

“You shouldn’t push yourself… You don’t have your medicine and I’m not a real trained doctor…”

“You’ve been treating me well so far.” Even though they weren’t facing the actual sun, it was still beautiful.

They started hearing people waking up and moving. “You should get back inside. My brother will be angry if he-”

“Hey!” Too late. He stomped through the room and onto the porch. “What do you think you’re doing?” He grabbed Satoru’s collar and bodily turned him. Satoru shrank back against the column.

“Brother, he wasn’t-” A loud ‘slap’ cut her off.

Satoru was now sprawled on his stomach on the porch. He gently cupped his right cheek with his left hand, crying out when the man heeled him in the ribs, on the same side as before. Satoru gasped as he tried to calm down.

“Brother-” Mizuho reached for him, but he pushed her down.

“Get up!” He snarled at Satoru and unsheathed a knife.

“Brother, no!”

Satoru shakily pushed himself into a sitting position.

“What are you crying for?” He yanked Satoru’s head back by his ponytail.

“P-Please don’t…” Satoru was shaking and staring at the knife. Mizuho could see that his lip was bleeding and his cheek was bright red.

“I never liked this stupid thing since I first saw you…” He moved the knife toward the back of Satoru’s head.

Satoru's eyes widened when he realized what was about to come. “Please no!” He surprised himself with his own shouting, weak though it was, but he didn't have the mind to think about the consequences now. He just understood that his hair, his long, beautiful hair, was about to be cut. He wasn't vain but his hair was his favorite asset that he had and he knew that Hideto loved it just as much. He had taken great care of it in the past few years and Hideto had bought him several colorful hair bands to tie it up with. “My Lord likes my hair!”

“More support for my male concubine theory…” He mumbled as he attacked Satoru’s hair. He cut it below the hair band, giving in to Satoru a little. He tossed it out into the yard and turned to his sister. “Get him tied back up and presentable. I mean it.” He stormed back inside.

Mizuho had her hands over her mouth, eyes wide in shock at what had just happened. “I am so sorry…” Satoru wiped at his tears and began to cough as she scooted closer to him. She took out a little cloth after he was finished coughing and gently held his chin, dabbing at the blood on his lip. He flinched at every dab, but slowly started to get used to it. Once his lip stopped bleeding, she dried his tears. She looked his cheek over and frowned that her brother had been so rough.

But Satoru was not concerned with that right about now. No, his attention was on his hair, thrown out into the yard. He felt tears well up in his eyes again. It felt so surreal, as if the hair laying in the backyard _couldn't_ be his. But with a shaky raise of the hand to the back of his head, Satoru brought himself to reality. Another tear rolled down his cheek – he wondered what Hideto would say if he saw him now. He knew that the older man would still love him, regardless of what he looked like, but still couldn't help but wonder how Hideto would react.

Satoru tensed completely as she dove her hand into his yukata to check his ribs. “Th-they’re f-fine, owww…” Apparently some words would hurt for a while.

“D-Do you want me to trim your hair?” She looked at him sympathetically.

“Is it that bad?” She looked behind him and played with what was left of his ponytail.

“Actually, it’s not…” She undid the hair band and adjusted its position. “There.” She came back around and smiled at him.

She helped him up and into the room, sitting him down near the cushion from earlier. As she gathered the ropes again, he spoke:

“Sometimes I feel like a caged bird…”

She asked him to put his wrists a comfortable distance apart. He stretched them out to his sides all the way. She smirked and playfully said, “Comedian, are we?” He smiled and put his wrists about shoulder width apart and she gently bound his wrists again.

“What do you mean about the bird thing?”

“You know those birds that people keep as pets? Whether by circumstance or by my health, I’m confined somehow… But then I remind myself that I have people who care _about_ me, not just _for_ me… People that love me…” A small genuine smile came over his features as he thought about Hideto.

An almost comfortable silence enveloped them as Mizuho bound his ankles. She cleaned up his lip and chin, her hand lingering a _little_ too long. She blushed and hurriedly cleaned everything up and rushed out, pausing at the fusuma to look back at him.

His look was questioning, wondering why she’d be embarrassed. He managed to lay down after she’d closed the fusuma and let his mind wander.

~*~*~*~*~*~


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hideto finally finds his Satoru.

He wasn’t sure how long it had been, but he was rudely pulled back to reality by 2 men hoisting him up by his shoulders. They dragged him into the adjoining room and hung his wrist rope _just_ high enough that he couldn’t push up and free himself. The peg that the rope was resting on was angled up too.

He was right that the day would be hot and he could feel the oppressive weather weighing on his chest. He was quite uncomfortable, not to mention the eight pairs of eyes on him.

Their leader walked into the room. “Looks like someone is coming for you.” Satoru looked up at him from his spot on the floor next to a column in the wall. “We just have to wait now.” He sat down on a cushion and enjoyed a small meal with his men.

About an hour later, one of the men got a bit too drunk and started making moon-eyes at Satoru, who shifted uncomfortably under his gaze. His hands were numb and his shoulders were starting to hurt.

“Boss… Can I…?”

“Just a little…”

The man smiled like a predator at Satoru, who tried to back up against the wall. The man pulled out a knife, put it between his teeth, and crawled over to Satoru. He sat on his knees and ran his finger down the collar of Satoru’s yukata and down his chest.

The man's fingers were calloused, just like Hideto's were, but his touch was completely different. It made Satoru think of the differences and it made him miss home and Hideto even more. He wished with all his might at that very moment that this was all just a terrible nightmare. They could beat him, insult him, cut his hair, shame him, but this? _Touching_ him? It was the ultimate disgrace. No one but Hideto had touched Satoru like this before and it was something that the tall man wanted to keep just to themselves. The thought that he wouldn't be able to made more tears well up in his eyes.

“P-Please don’t…” Satoru stuttered, trying to beg the man to be merciful and let him keep this much of himself – they had taken everything else. A tear streaked down his cheek.

The man placed the back of the knife on Satoru’s lips. “Don’t speak.” He trailed it down to Satoru’s neck and he lightly pressed. “Understand?” Satoru whined, memories flashing before his eyes, but nodded. “Good.”

Satoru pulled his knees up when the man’s hand went for the hem of his yukata. Satoru sniffed as he started crying, afraid of what the man might do. He trembled as the man ran his hand up his shin and gasp-squeaked in fear when the man reached past his knee.

The man set the knife aside, “I SAID be quiet.” He put his hand on Satoru’s mouth and shoved his head back, knocking it against the wall.

“Hey…” Their boss said.

Satoru’s vision went for a swim and he closed his eyes to try to keep the nausea in check. It didn’t really work. The force of the man’s hand also pulled his lip just wrong and made it bleed again. Satoru couldn’t do anything but cry as the man’s other hand slid up his thigh.

Knowing that, by now, it was futile to fight, Satoru tried to make the best of what was happening, closing his eyes and trying to imagine that it was Hideto touching him. He tried to block out the sounds of the men having their meal at the table. He tried to ignore the pain in his limbs. He replayed sounds of Hideto's pants and moans and sweet words in his head from memory. He wasn't trying to gain any pleasure out of this, just trying to lessen the pain and the humiliation.

It wasn't working.

He was far too weak to do something as drastic as creating a different reality. He didn't have the mental strength to do it. Whimpering softly, he gave up completely.

That was when there was a noise somewhere in the house.

An unconscious man crashed through the shoji that separated the rooms. “That yours?”

Satoru slowly opened his eyes, recognizing that voice. Relief seemed to flood his veins then. He _knew_ Hideto would come for him, he just didn’t know when. The man removed his hand.

“Who’re you?” Their boss demanded.

“I’m here for… him.” He slowed down as he pointed to Satoru, taking in his Sa-chan’s appearance: Little dot bruises on his cheeks, a bleeding lip, and a still-red-turning-purple mark from being slapped earlier. His hair didn’t bunch right. And he was crying. There were only two words in both his and Haido's mind: _Sa-chan's hurt._

Satoru saw Hideto’s eye twitch and his focus fuzz. “Run…”

“What?’

“RUN!!” He cried as he saw Haido emerge. A wicked smile curled to Hideto’s lips as he drew his sword. Satoru’s condition made any hope of negotiating fly out the window.

Haido placed both his and Hideto's anger into their sword, slashing down enemy after enemy. Haido could feel Hideto's heartache within itself as well, knowing that the sight of Satoru must have hurt him. It could also feel guilt – Hideto felt guilty for not coming here in time. Two of its most precious people were hurt in some way or other. These men had hurt them. That gave Haido all the reason it needed to do what it was. _Enemy... Hurt Sa-chan... Hurt Hideto... Must kill._

Hideto, on this rare occasion, was on Haido's side, willing the little demon to cut them down more brutally. He usually wasn't a violent man but he would become one if his lover was hurt. And from the way that man had been positioned so closely to Satoru, Hideto could only guess what he had been doing. The thought that someone else touched _his_ Sa-chan like that made his blood boil.

As everyone went Quixotic to fight the intruder, Satoru tried to get free. He pulled a little too hard on the peg and it let go, making his hands and the peg fall onto his head. “Owww…” He held his head for a moment, trying not to listen to the fight, knowing it would upset him.

As he tried to get feeling back in his hands, he noticed the knife that his latest abuser had set down. As he reached for it, someone stepped on it, only to topple back from having a knife thrown into his neck.

Satoru closed his eyes, regained his composure, and picked the knife up. At first, he discovered that Mizuho had tied his ankles quite simply. He untied that rope and examined his wrist rope. It was tied simply as well, but complicated enough that he couldn’t undo it one handed. He held the knife between his heels and carefully cut through the rope. It was tricky, but he managed to free himself with cutting, wriggling, and perseverance.

He looked up and saw the carnage. Everyone except their leader had been defeated, either dead or nearly dead on the floor or propped against a wall. Hideto was surprisingly clean, or at least less blood-covered than one might expect. He hadn’t mutilated the men (mostly), just killed them.

And now their leader fell to the ground, sliding off of Hideto’s sword.

Satoru managed to get to his feet and stumbled toward Hideto as the bloody sword was raised to make sure the leader wasn’t breathing. He hugged Hideto from behind and begged, “Don’t. I’m fine, just…” He got light-headed again and panted, “I’m okay… Haido, I’m okay…”

Haido fought for a second and said, “Breathing…”

“That’s me…” Though, it might not have been, but whoever it was would not live to see the sun set.

Satoru took a step back but slipped and they landed on their bums together. He kept holding Hideto, willing him to come back to his senses, while he tried to fight his illness, resting his head on Hideto’s shoulder, closing his eyes. God, he had missed this so much. He took a deep breath, taking in Hideto's scent. It was mixed with the smell of blood and sweat but a scent that was purely Hideto alone was there. It made him feel as if everything was going to be alright from now on. They would go home soon and everything would be back to normal.

At the gentle touch to the body he shared with Haido, Hideto slowly came down from his own killing high. Just as he was about to tell Haido that everything was okay now (Haido had become more obedient in the last 3 years thanks to Satoru), they heard a womanly gasp, scream, and a thud on the floor. Haido tensed once more, readied its sword and tried to get up, but Satoru, even with his fading strength, managed to keep it from doing so.

“No. She’s okay… Don’t… hurt her…” He panted. He felt the body in his arms relax.

Hideto blinked a few times, finally regaining control. “S-Sa-chan…?” Hideto dropped his sword and looked around him, noticing the crying girl.

“I’m okay…” he heard next to his ear. Hideto turned around and held Satoru’s face in his hands, wiping his cheeks with his thumbs. Gaining a closer look at Satoru now, Hideto realized that the servant had been treated worse than he thought. He had never before seen this many bruises and wounds on his lover. Hideto had always done his best to make sure that he was safe. And his hair... It was shorter than before. Something clenched inside him as he realized that – he wondered how painful it must have been for Satoru for the past few days.

“Thank God…” Hideto set his forehead to Satoru’s and gently kissed him (Mizuho was too horrified at the room to notice this). He let Satoru slump against his shoulder while he searched his sleeves for his beloved’s medicine. “Sa-chan, stay with me…” He felt Satoru nod and opened the medicine jar. He turned Satoru and helped him drink his medicine. “You need to take some of your medicine with you wherever you go, Sa-chan…”

“’ll try to rember…”

As Satoru rested against Hideto, his wounded hand was finally noticed. “Sa-chan?” He ran a finger down the delicate wrist and onto the bandage, making Satoru wince, however gentle Hideto's touch was. “What happened?”

“Later…” Satoru slurred, wanting nothing more than sleep.

“Alright…” Hideto caressed Satoru’s cheek and kissed the top of his head before turning his attention to the girl. “Hey.” He got no response. “Hey girl-”

“Mizuho…” Satoru mumbled.

“What? Miz-” But all he got was a soft snore. He sighed. “Hey look… Mi-chan…” _Oh yeah, nice bluff_ … “Do you have somewhere Satoru can sleep?” Still no response. He picked up his sword and banged the flat end on the floor, getting impatient. He usually wouldn't have been so rash but Satoru was ill, exhausted, and he needed a place to rest. She looked up and finally looked at him through teary, frightened eyes.

“Look… Sa-chan doesn’t want me to hurt you, for some reason… Is there a place better than right here where he can sleep more comfortably?” She kind of nodded. “Okay. Can you help me move him?”

“D-Demon…”

Hideto sighed in slight irritation. He had gotten used to the nickname already, but it was this girl's misunderstanding of his two personalities that got to him. Everyone else already knew about the two different personas that their lord had. “Look, I’m not _right now_. If I was, you’d be dead and the room would be a _lot_ messier…”

“You… killed my brother…” Her voice wavered from her grief.

“I’m sorry…” But he actually wasn't. No matter what they had been trying to do, it gave them no right to do whatever they had done to Satoru. “They’ll be returned to you and your village or whatever and this house will be cleaned up. You can see that I’m small, I can’t move him by myself…” He hated admitting he was short, but it might get her to help.

“Why should I believe you… that you won’t kill me…”

“Because an innocent being like him trusts me…” He laid his arm around Satoru. “And he doesn’t want you dead. So unless you do something _really_ stupid, you’ll live.” That was a bit insensitive, but he had to gain her trust somehow.

She was still reluctant.

“I promise I won’t hurt you. Sa-chan really should lay down… Do it for him?”

She shakily got up and weaved through the bodies. They wrangled Satoru into the adjoining room and made him comfortable. She shut the fusuma to the carnage and started to leave the room, but Hideto stopped her.

“Where are his belongings?”

She silently went to the corner and got the little pile, bringing it to Hideto and set it on the floor beside him.

“What happened?” He tried not to sound angry, but by the way she jumped, he hadn’t succeeded. “Sorry…”

“M-my brother can be a bit rough sometimes… He… was just trying to help our village…” She wiped at the tears on her cheeks and looked at Satoru. _They just had to pick the beautiful one..._

An uncomfortable silence enveloped them.

“He’s taken…”

“W-What?” Her face flushed– how could _he_ have known?

Hideto shrugged and averted his attention back to Satoru, petting him gently and running his fingers through his shorter hair. He missed Satoru's long locks already but comforted himself with the fact that it would grow out soon.

“The way you look at him… I just want you to know that he’s got someone, back home.”

“Uh… oh…” She looked down at her hands in her lap. It would figure that all the guys she liked would either be gay or taken.

Hideto looked back up at her at the sound of her defeated tone. “That doesn’t mean you can’t be nice to him…”

“Right… Ummm… What’s wrong with him?” She tentatively asked.

There was a frown on Hideto's face as he felt Satoru's forehead – was the medicine he had given his lover not enough? He was still feverish. He was looking slightly paler too and he had broken out in a sweat. He bit his lip, wondering if it would be best for them to travel back now, but wondered if Satoru was strong enough to withstand the distance in his current condition. He decided against it.

If it got any more serious, though, he would have to head out and hope that there were the herbs and plants in these woods that he needed to make Satoru's medicine. He wasn't a skilled doctor but he had learned from Tanaka-san how to make Satoru's more important medication.

“Not sure. Stress builds up and hits him hard…” He turned to Mizuho then, offering her a small smile. "Don't worry. Sa-chan might come off as wimpy and weak, but... He's strong." Memories from three years ago washed over him. He had never experienced what Satoru had – living through death. He couldn't even begin to imagine how painful feeling your lover dying would be and then having to actually survive that death yourself. What did that even feel like? Did food and drinks just hold no taste anymore? What would breathing feel like? Had there been a lasting pain in Satoru's chest like Hideto had felt when he had gotten stabbed? Hideto couldn't imagine it at all.

"He's the strongest person I know," Hideto said softly, stroking Satoru's hair. "He'll be alright." His eyes trailed down to the splint on Satoru's pinky. “If his hand doesn’t heal right-”

“It will, I promise! He has a doctor, right? They can check my work…”

He looked at her, nodding slowly.

Hideto managed to coax a conversation out of her, finding out what happened and how bad it was for her village. A few hours later, she’d had enough of him and got up to make some dinner.

As he turned his head to look back at Satoru, he paused for a moment and returned his gaze to Mizuho. Softly, he said, "Thank you. For being kind to him."

Leaving that statement hanging, the rest of his attention was given to Satoru.

As Hideto returned his attention to his unconscious lover, a wry smile graced his lips as he reached out to pet the taller man. It was so good to see him again. He had missed him terribly, been worried sick and now... Now, they were finally together again. A part of Hideto hated himself for taking so long to get to his lover that all this damage had been done to his frail body. But another part was just more concerned with _right now_. And right now, Satoru was safe and sound and slowly getting better.

Leaning down, Hideto pressed a gentle kiss to Satoru's temple while Satoru turned toward the hand that was stroking his cheek.

~*~*~*~*~*~


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Waking up and the trip home.

“Sa-chan…”

The voice was soft and deep, smooth and just the slightest bit husky. The way his name sounded, coming from those lips, was so familiar and the feeling of home and belonging wrapped him up in a warm cocoon. His eyebrows scrunched together and his eyes slowly opened. He had to blink a few times before he was able to focus on Hideto. A look of worry was painted on Hideto's face but it slowly melted out into a relieved expression which had Satoru wondering just how long he had been out.

“Hideto…”

The said man offered Satoru a smile, one that Satoru returned tiredly – he wasn't sure how long he had been resting but he was still feeling slightly weary.

They just stared at each other, Hideto stroking Satoru’s cheek, until the younger woke up more.

Hideto had washed up, the best that he could, and there were just some stains on his yukata now. Stains that Satoru noticed but ignored. He was tired but he could remember clearly the events that had taken place.

“You… came for me…” Satoru whispered, feeling slightly guilty for even having _allowed_ the thought that Hideto wasn't coming to have crossed his mind.

“Of course I did. I wouldn’t leave your rescue to anyone else.”

Satoru's smile widened but then Haido's grin and evil glint in its eyes came to his mind and he paused. He felt guilt rush past him – Mizuho's brother and companions were dead now. Because of him.

“Y… You didn’t have to… kill them…” A tear rolled from Satoru’s eye. He thought about Mizuho's words and about how she had tried to justify her brother's actions. She kept repeating that he was doing what he was for their village. Didn't that make him at least a _little_ honorable in some way? Didn't that make him similar to Haido? Yes, what they had done to him hurt. But they hadn't deserved death.

The older man sighed, thinking back to the massacre that had taken place. He wasn't quite sure what came over him either. It was the first time he had transitioned from himself to Haido so quickly. He supposed it was because, this time, he himself, as Takarai Hideto, had killer intent lurking within him. Haido had taken advantage of it. But he didn't regret it. Not one bit. For some reason, he could feel Satoru's pain. When Satoru's joints ached, he felt a ghostly pressure on his own. He knew what Satoru was going through and he hated the men that had done it to him. Hideto wiped away the tear that had rolled down Satoru's face before looking away from Satoru.

He could see clear images from earlier instead of fuzzy ones. He could remember everything clearly instead of having missing blanks in his memory – Haido had been the one using their body. But he had been with it together in mind. He had told Haido what to do, controlled it because it allowed itself to be controlled if used for killing and protection. Hideto had done this, more or less. He remembered feeling control of his body come back to him and Haido shying back into the back of his mind. He remembered feeling the need to kill slowly evaporate as Satoru held him from behind. Satoru’s left hand wandered up and took Hideto’s.

“Haido lost it… When I saw what they’d done to you… It just…”

“Where’s Mizuho?” Satoru had just noticed she wasn’t in the room. And Hideto appreciated the change in subject. Satoru didn’t need to know that he had _wanted_ to kill those men.

“Making dinner… I think I scared her away,” he said with a slight laugh.

“You scare a lot of people…” Satoru commented with a wry smile, with just a slight look of ‘you scared _me_ too’, and flinched, his lip complaining about the movement.

“How are you feeling?” Hideto stroked the back of his love’s hand.

“Sore, all over. And hungry.” His stomach growled to accentuate the point.

Hideto's mind went back to the one making Satoru's dinner then. He remembered the look in her eyes. He wondered if Satoru had realized it. He doubted it. He saw no reason to keep it from the younger man though.

“She likes you…”

Satoru was confused but only for a moment or two before he realised who 'she' was. But realising who 'she' was only made him more confused – why on earth would she like him? Satoru tried thinking back on the past few days but couldn't remember doing anything that might had suggested flirting. Satoru sighed. “That’s what that was…”

“What was?” Satoru explained it to him. “Oh.” It was much more innocent than the 12 things that Hideto’s mind had jumped to.

“Did you tell her anything?” Satoru asked, not sure what he wanted to hear. Some part of him wanted to hear Hideto lay claim on him. It made him feel complete to know that he belonged to someone. Knowing it made him feel warm all over but hearing it actually made it more tangible.

“Only that you were taken, but she could still be nice to you…”

Satoru nodded slowly before sighing softly, taking a look around the room wearily. He missed home already. “Why are we still here?”

“It’s still too hot for you to travel. We’ll leave tonight. Besides, do you know how hard it is for me to get you on a horse by myself?” Hideto remarked. He remembered the last time Satoru had fallen sick while they had been on the road. Hideto was muscular and Satoru was light but there _was_ a rather large difference in height and maneuvering Satoru onto Tenshin had been quite a task indeed.

Satoru merely smiled wryly and bemusedly before something else came to mind. “Are you… alone?”

Knowing Satoru would not be pleased, he whispered, “Yeah…”

Satoru immediately groaned softly, shooting Hideto a look of disapproval. “You should have at least brought Ken… What if there had been more people than you expected? You didn’t know what you were walking into.”

Satoru hardly ever found fault with his lord. Hideto was, in his eyes, perfect but there were times when Satoru just wanted to hit him on the head. Times like these. Satoru had made it clear time and time again (especially clear years ago during the Itaraki incident) that he didn't want to see Hideto hurt. He sometimes wondered how hard it would be to just take precautions to make sure he stayed safe. Was bringing a couple of men really that difficult?

“Sa-chan…” He stroked Satoru’s forehead to calm him. “I can handle myself, and we’re both safe.”

“But still…”

They heard a tray being set down outside one of the fusuma. Mizuho announced her presence, was granted entry, and brought the tray of food to the pair. She backed away as Hideto looked over the food.

“It’s not poisoned or anything…” She mumbled.

Hideto just ‘nnnn’ed as he took a piece and watched her carefully as he fed it to Satoru. He didn’t see any tells and he fed Satoru something else.

It was underhanded to use his Sa-chan like that, but she wouldn’t risk _his_ life. _Something_ would have triggered her if she had poisoned it. However, Satoru wasn’t in too much real danger, Haido would have known as well. Hideto wasn't quite sure how but it knew when something was poisoned or not. Heightened senses or being a great judge of people? Hideto wasn't sure but he was thankful nonetheless.

Hideto took the next but, blinking in surprise at how good it was. “Wow…” It almost rivaled Satoru’s cooking… Almost.

The other two looked at him. He looked a little embarrassed. “It’s… really good…”

Satoru smiled and rolled his eyes, accepting the next bite.

~~~~~

Hideto came back after taking Satoru’s [furoshiki](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Furoshiki%E2%80%9C) full of stuff to their ride. “It’s starting to cool off out there. Do you think you’re ready?”

Satoru was sitting up, supporting himself. Mizuho was sitting next to him, ready to catch him if necessary. She also had her furoshiki sitting next to her. She was coming with them for a few days. Not exactly a ‘captive’ or a ‘rescue’ but Hideto wanted to talk to her.

Satoru sighed. “I guess so…” They both helped him up and to the front, where Hideto had tied the horse. They sat him down on the porch, leaning against a pillar as Hideto went to get the horse.

Satoru laughed, which turned into a slight cough, “You brought _my_ horse?”

“Aku gets antsy sometimes… Tenshin doesn’t… Of course, that made getting here a bit interesting… Besides, ngh,” Hideto pulled on the reins of Satoru’s white horse. Tenshin was a beautiful stallion with huge, warm eyes. It was gentle and sweet, just like its owner. But it _was_ pretty stubborn, refusing to listen to anyone who wasn't Satoru. It was only recently that it had started to respond to Hideto. “Come on…”

Satoru called Tenshin to him and, hearing its name from Satoru's lips, it happily trotted over. Satoru giggled at his lover's put off look.

“Your’s has a neat trick too. Sit.” The horse just stood there and leaned down to nibble at the grass. Satoru snickered and Mizuho looked at Hideto like he was weird.

Hideto jiggled the reins in a downward direction like he had often seen Satoru do.

“You have to do both at the same time,” Satoru said with a smile.

Hideto tried a few times before Satoru said ‘sit’ and he pulled the reins. The white horse knelt and then laid down. Mizuho was amazed that a horse could be taught to do that. Hideto smiled triumphantly and held out his hand for Satoru to take. Satoru slid off the porch and took Hideto’s hand, helping him adjust his yukata and get on the horse. He hopped on behind Satoru and they got the horse to stand up.

“Let’s go… th~at… way…?” Hideto guessed. He’d been up for too long to have a good sense of direction just after dark.

Mizuho picked up her furoshiki and a lantern and led the horse in the _correct_ direction.

~~~

Satoru was sleeping, leaning back against Hideto, as they plodded along. Hideto had one hand on the reins and the other was wrapped protectively around Satoru’s waist.

There wasn’t really any conversation, just the sounds of a used-to-be-sticky night. Tomorrow would be a nice day.

About an hour later, Satoru suddenly gasped for air. Hideto and Mizuho were both startled. Even the horse beneath them flinched at the sudden noise.

Satoru’s entire torso was heaving, trying to breathe. His eyes were trying to flutter open, but his eyes were rolled back.

“S-Sa-chan?!” Hideto let go of the reins as he tried to keep Satoru on the horse. He was shaking with his efforts to breathe. Hideto's eyes were wide as he stared at his lover. Even though he had been faced with this several times throughout the years, he didn't think he would ever be able to get used to it. It was like every attack was new and just as sudden as the last though still unexpected. The fear that would grip him was terrifying and the look on Satoru's face pained him.

Seeing your lover like this but being unable to do anything to help...

“Do you have any more of his medicine with you?” Mizuho asked, worry clear in her voice.

“No…” Hideto told her before cursing – he _should_ have brought more. He didn't think that Satoru would be in such a bad condition. "Just what I gave him at your place…” Satoru gasped for air again and Hideto held him tightly, staring at his face, cursing under his breath once more. "Sa-chan, relax, you’re okay.”

Mizuho made a displeased noise and looked around. “I’ll be right back!”

“Wait!” But she didn’t say anything back. “Fuck, she left…” Looking away from the direction Mizuho had ran off in, he turned back to the man in his arms, starting to feel short of breath himself. “God… Sa-chan… Please stay with me…” He felt Satoru’s fingers brush the arm he had around him. He took that hand in his, trying to ignore how clammy and cold Satoru's hands were. “Please don’t leave me, Sa-chan…”

Satoru’s head came to rest against Hideto’s. His breathing seemed to get a fraction easier, but this still wasn’t good.

A few moments later, Hideto heard running footfalls. They ran to the bushes at the side of the road and pulled some leaves off the plants. Mizuho chewed the leaves and spat it into her hand. She mixed it with other leaf matter and held up a ball of it to Hideto.

Hideto stared at the green-ish ball, taking it before turning his eyes onto Mizuho. “You… chewed this?”

“Put it… in his mouth, under his… tongue…” She panted. “Should help…”

Hideto bit his lip, unsure whether or not he should trust Mizuho. But then again, she liked Satoru and wouldn't want any harm to come to him, right? And Haido would've told him if something was out of place. Taking a leap of faith, Hideto slipped the small ball into Satoru's mouth.

“Keep his mouth closed so he doesn’t try to inhale it so much…”

Hideto did his best and felt Satoru swallow. Over the next couple of minutes, Satoru’s breathing started to ease. He relaxed a little against Hideto and whined. Hideto heaved a great sigh of relief, stroking Satoru's cheek and then kissing his forehead, perspiration and all.

“Give him the rest of this…” Mizuho held her hand up to Hideto. Satoru made a disgusted noise as it was placed into his mouth. Something that resembled ‘ick’ passed his lips. He chewed it and swallowed it.

“Th-thank you…” Satoru whispered.

“Of course.” Mizuho answered.

They began again, Satoru quietly staring up at the stars while he focused on breathing. He never wanted to go through _that_ again, and he stayed awake until they got back home. Struggling to breathe had made his ribs sore and he hated how scared Hideto had sounded.

Ken was waiting, but asleep on the porch. Kazu nudged him awake as he saw the lantern and heard the horse hooves.

Hideto made sure Satoru was steady before hopping off and talking to Ken and Kazu. Kazu came up and escorted Mizuho inside while Ken helped Satoru down and to the porch. There, Hideto took over and Ken took Satoru’s horse back to the stables.

Eventually, they all crashed and would deal with everything in the morning.

~*~*~*~*~*~


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Satoru starts recovering but has a setback.

For the next 4 days, Hideto did a lot of talking. The incident on the way home had really scared Hideto.

For some reason, it never really occurred to him just how serious the situation was right at that moment. Whenever Satoru had a fainting spell or fell ill, Hideto didn't seem to realize then and there that Satoru could easily lose his life to such illnesses. During those moments, all he could feel was fear, gripping him. Fear and pain. All he would be able to think of was solutions to help ease the hurting that Satoru was going through. It was only afterwards that he really understood the gravity of the situation.

Hideto had wondered, several times, what life without Satoru would be like. Satoru had experienced life without him before and had almost killed himself. Hideto wondered if the pain he would feel would be so great that he would do the same. Some part of him knew he would. Did that make him a bad samurai? Did that make him weak? He didn't bother to answer those questions. He had told himself long ago that such incidents would never happen – he would protect Satoru with his life. He had told himself that. There was no actual reason to wonder about life without Satoru, was there?

But then there were these occurrences when Satoru would graze death. Or perhaps it was the opposite. Perhaps it was death teasing Satoru, toying with him. Taking him in and chewing him up before spitting him back out, scars and wounds and all.

Death was one fucking son of a bitch.

Meanwhile, Satoru did a lot of resting. It was like pulling teeth to get Hideto to let him sit up for a while,

Satoru’s doctor came in every day. He’d checked Satoru’s injuries and agreed that Mizuho had done a good job on his finger. Other than not having his medicine for a couple of days, Satoru was in okay shape.

“Okabe-san.” There was a tap on the door frame before and after the simple words. They gently roused Satoru from his light sleep and he granted admittance. The door slid open and Mizuho stepped inside and closed the door. She knelt down, facing him, and looked at the floor. “I-”

“How are you Mizuho?”

She looked up at him. “A-alright… Takarai-sama and two others had a talk with me. He’s been very generous… More than I would have thought…”

“Not a demon now, is he?” Satoru smiled nicely at her.

She shook her head. “No. He offered to help our village and he wants _me_ to be a liaison with a couple of far out villages near us… I… I just…”

“Say yes.”

“I’m overwhelmed by his kindness.” She wiped at her cheeks.

“Mizuho,” he said as he sat up and turned toward her. No one was here to stop him so he was going to take advantage of that. “What happened to your village?” Satoru had been a “city boy” for most of his life and didn’t _quite_ understand how things were out in the middle of nowhere. “You kept saying your brother was doing this for your village.”

Mizuho sniffed and took a deep breath to collect herself. “Our village has been losing people for several years now. We had a flood three years ago and half of the village, the younger half, left for somewhere else. My brother couldn’t abandon the elders, so his family and our parents stayed behind to support them. But everyone left is too old to move on or to farm. We’ve barely been scraping by. And with nothing to trade, we can’t get food that way either… When my brother’s wife died a year ago, he started to get desperate. He’s never killed a hostage, but you are the one he’s roughed up the most and for that I am truly sorry.” She bowed with her apology.

“But why me?”

“You have nice things, so you must have been or belonged to someone rich. That’s how he picked them. His daughter and our father died six months ago. Papa had been sickly for a while and my brother found the two of them dead in the woods, without a scratch on them.

“That was when he started getting violent, not just threatening. He always took me with him to keep the hostages calm, but now I was tending to small wounds too… I wanted him to stop, but he wouldn’t listen. He always had his family’s beads with him… He was lost in his grief and sense of duty…” She broke into tears.

“Mizuho…” She didn’t look up, so he very awkwardly crawled over to her and gently set his hand on her knee. “Say yes to Hi- Takarai-sama. He can’t bring your family back, but he can help your village.” _He certainly helped me…_ “Okay?”

She wiped her cheeks and looked at him. His brown eyes were full of encouragement. A small smile came to his lips too.  
  
~~~

Mizuho had escorted a team to the house to clean it up and had said goodbye beforehand. She wasn’t quite ready to accept his liaison proposal.

~~~

Hideto was on his way back to his rooms, back to his Sa-chan. There had been a few things to take care of and, though he was the lord who had power over everyone in the castle, he needed to do his job. He had been reluctant at first but after some gentle assurances and a kiss from Satoru, Hideto had listened and left. Satoru _did_ look slightly healthier anyway. Still, that did not stop him from working as fast he could, eager to return to his lover.

He slid the fusuma open and his heart skipped. Satoru was _not_ in the room.

“Sa-chan?” He called. There was a slight movement on the porch. He ran across the room and slid the panel open.

Satoru had collapsed on the porch, panting, with a book at the end of his fingertips.

Hideto scrambled around him and pulled him over into his lap. It was a hot and sunny day and Satoru was burning and sweaty to the touch. “Sa-chan! Open your eyes for me, just a little… Let me know you’re okay…” He caressed Satoru’s cheek.

His eyes fluttered around, seeming to try to find where the voice was coming from, but his eyes didn’t fully open.

“Hey, Hideto?” Ken came into the room, starting to run when he saw the two of them. He stopped halfway, however, when Hideto yelled at him to get Satoru’s doctor..

The minutes piled up, Hideto worrying more with each passing one. After what seemed like forever, Ken finally returned and the doctor set to examining Satoru.

Satoru had a very light grip on Hideto’s hand while he panted. He whined as the doctor examined him.

“Does that hurt, Satoru?” He wobbled his head enough to be a ‘no.’

Satoru was _mostly_ there, but exhausted.. He was just _so_ hot. The day itself was quite warm, but he’d been okay, maybe a little lethargic, on days like this before.

“Satoru, Hideto-sama is going to help you take some medicine, is that okay?” Satoru parted his lips a little, ready for it. The doctor handed Hideto a cup. Satoru coughed a little after drinking it, but got most of it down. The doctor wiped his chin and put the cup away.

“Do you hurt anywhere, Sa-chan?” Another head wobble, which wasn’t completely true. His previous injuries and the points that ‘cushioned’ his fall hurt, but it was tolerable. He just wanted to cool off. _A swim in the river or favorite lake would be so nice_ …

Ken stood just inside the doorway, worried for Satoru, when Hideto asked him something. “Huh?”

“Help Tanaka-sensei move Satoru inside when I get his futon ready.”

“Oh, okay.”

Ken took Hideto’s place and waited until he’d gotten lighter covers for the bed, which was just a thin sheet. He prepped Satoru’s bed and the motioned when he was ready.

Ken and Tanaka carefully picked Satoru up and carried him inside, gently laying him down. On the way, Satoru had actually turned off. Hideto removed his obi and slipped Satoru’s arms out of the sleeves. Ken looked worried when he saw the bruises on his ribs for the first time.

Laying there, just in his fundoshi, pale, bruised, sweaty, and slightly quivering, he looked so frail, so easily broken. It was barely noticeable, but Hideto could feel it (Hideto knew every inch of Satoru), and Ken could _almost_ see it: Satoru had lost weight. It made sense, since he was sleeping most of the time and not eating very much, but it _was_ worrying.

The doctor had left to get some things, and Ken could barely stand being in the room. Hideto looked so scared and worried as he stroked Satoru’s face.

“You… wanted something, Ken?” Hideto’s voice was quiet.

Ken sat down, a few feet from Hideto, “Just wanted to chill with you two…” Ken’s voice was equally quiet.

Hideto threw the thin sheet over Satoru, bringing it up to his chest. Whoever came in didn’t need to see Satoru mostly naked.

The doctor came back 15 quiet minutes later with 2 servants in tow. They all carried supplies: a clay jug full of cool water, small cloths, a couple of fans, some food, and medicine. One servant adjusted the fusuma for optimum airflow while the other sat and slowly fanned Satoru, careful not to overheat herself.

Ken listened closely as Tanaka explained what they were going to do to try to cool Satoru off. It all sounded reasonable to Ken, but he couldn’t help thinking, “What if?” Hideto would fall apart if Satoru didn’t make it, or was irreparably damaged. Satoru was weak enough before last week’s events.

Aside from the possibility of losing his head, Tanaka also knew that the young lord would fall apart if Satoru couldn’t defeat this. Only Ken, Kazu, and himself knew about their true relationship. He himself wanted Satoru to get better too.

Satoru shuddered as cool water was wiped across his chest and shoulders and hit by the fan. A cool cloth was placed on his forehead and he, even though unconscious, felt better. Though shocking, the cool felt good.

~~~~~

While able to wake enough to take his medicine and eat a mash containing his medicine, Satoru hadn’t really woken up yet. He could swallow, but he didn’t open his eyes. Hideto was somewhat grateful for that. He didn’t think he’d be able to take the half-lidded, half-conscious eyes of his lover.

It had been two days since his collapse and the weather had broken. It was a very refreshing day and promised to be a beautiful night. The girls had returned to their regular duties since his temperature had gone down.

Hideto sat beside Satoru, holding his hand. He’d ignored his work since then, and for the last hour, Ken had been trying to get him to go on a walk.

“NO!” Hideto growled, his eyes widening at the sound. He felt Haido stirring within him, triggered by the aggression and anger that was building up. Hideto could almost feel Haido looking for the enemy. If Haido found Ken, it would be bad. Hideto panted, trying to keep control. This was something new (he hardly ever got this aggravated) and it startled him. He felt a hand on his shoulder and looked up at its owner.

“I’ll look after him, Hideto-sama.” It was Kazu.

Hideto stared at this strategist for a moment before looking back at Satoru, unsure. Kazu _was_ one of his most trusted men and personal friend... He was smart and he knew how to take care of people as well. Satoru would be in good hands, wouldn't he?

The two older men looked at each other and Ken offered him a wry smile, mouthing 'thanks'. Kazu returned the smile and nodded back in acknowledgement – they weren't exactly close but Hideto meant a lot to both of them. They both didn't want to see him like this.

“Come on, shorty.” Ken stood and offered his hand. “Kazu will take good care of him.”

The lord stared at the offered hand, weighing his options. After a few seconds, he decided that he would be no good to Satoru if he fell sick too. With a soft sigh, Hideto leaned down and kissed Satoru’s cheek before taking Ken’s hand and leaving with him. Kazu got comfortable and sat down beside Satoru.

~*~*~*~*~*~


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kazu keeps an eye on Satoru while Ken gets Hideto to take a walk.

Kazu was reading something while keeping an eye on Satoru. It was one of Satoru’s poetry books and was quite beautiful. No wonder he liked it.

He kept his attention divided equally between Satoru and the book, shifting his eyes onto the unconscious man every now and then. Though Satoru's sleep seemed to be peaceful, the strategist still found himself slightly worried – what had happened in the first place? Why would Satoru suddenly collapse like that?

Sighing, Kazu pushed those thoughts out of his mind. There was no use wondering.

Over the top of the book, he saw Satoru take a deep breath and move his left hand to his chest, the first movement he’d made on his own. Kazu felt his heart skip a beat and he scooted closer and watched Satoru open his eyes. He blinked a few times before his eyes focused on Kazu.

“Good afternoon, Satoru-san.”

Satoru processed it for a moment before replying with, “Good afternoon…”

“Are you feeling better?”

Satoru took two seconds to comprehend the question before nodding a little. It was a lie though – he actually felt terrible. His muscles and body felt perfectly fine but there was this strange, buzzing feeling at the back of his mind. It was a strange sensation that he always got after waking up from collapsing.

Satoru scrunched his eyebrows together before realizing he had just a sheet over him. “Ummm…”

Kazu didn't seem to notice his discomfort.

“You collapsed on the porch with a high fever… What were you doing out there?”

For a moment, Satoru couldn't understand clearly what he meant. But he recalled the incident very quickly, remembering his thoughts back then and what he had been trying to do. Expression immediately melting into an embarrassed and sad one, Satoru looked away, unable to meet Kazu's eyes.

 _This_ Kazu noticed.

“That’s okay, you don’t have to tell me. Hideto-sama will be curious, though…”

“Where is he?” Satoru looked back to Kazu, realising then that his lover was absent.

“He and Ken went on a walk. He needed to get some air. He’s been by your side for the past two days. We had a hard time convincing him to get some rest.”

“Two days?” Satoru’s eyes widened.

“Yes… oh!” Kazu turned and got a bento box. “I’m supposed to see if you want to eat anything.” He took out a slice of sushi roll. “Want some?”

Almost as if on cue, Satoru's stomach started to growl and, smiling sheepishly, he took the offered medallion and slowly ate it. He ate all six that were offered. “Thank you.”

“Sure. You know,” he paused and picked up Satoru’s book, “These poems are really nice.”

Satoru smiled fondly. He remembered when he had first gotten it – he hadn't been able to put it down, only managing to pull himself away when Hideto whined that he was hungry and wanted Satoru to cook something for him. “That book is my favorite.” He didn’t feel _so_ tired anymore. He shifted and started to roll onto his side, but stopped, blushing in embarrassment at the full feeling in his lower abdomen. “Ummm… Kazu-san?”

“Yes?”

“C-could you uh…" Satoru trailed off for a moment, feeling his cheeks burn even hotter – this wasn't the first time he’d had to ask for help to get to the bathroom. There were several times in the past when he had fallen so ill that he hadn't been able to walk on his own. But no matter how many times he had done it already, it would continue to embarrass him. He had accepted that he was weak, yes, but at times like these, he really wished he wasn't. "Could you help me to the bathroom?” Satoru _did_ feel better, but a repeat of two days ago would be _more_ embarrassing and Satoru didn’t want to cause further trouble to Hideto.

“Ah, yes.” Kazu said immediately, putting on a poker face to prevent causing the servant more embarrassment. He put the book down and helped Satoru sit up and into a fresh yukata, haphazardly tying it closed. He helped Satoru up and to the bathroom, waiting and listening outside. He heard Satoru sigh. “Need any uh… help?” Kazu didn’t want to disturb himself or embarrass Satoru, so he hoped it was a ‘no.’

“I’m okay, Kazu-san.” Satoru was happy at the concern shown, but he wanted so desperately to keep what little dignity he felt he had left. When he was finished, he knocked on the door, just in case Kazu was leaning against it.

“You good?” Kazu asked as Satoru opened the door.

“Yes, thank you.” Kazu helped Satoru back to Hideto’s room. He sat Satoru on the porch while he went back inside and collected up the yukata from two days ago. He then helped Satoru back inside and they talked about random things for a while, Kazu succeeding in getting Satoru to eat and drink some more.

It was a nice chance to get to know each other better: Kazu, one of the men Hideto had utmost trust in, and Satoru, the man who held the lord’s heart.

~~~

“Worrying your sleeves to threads isn’t going to help…” Ken gently joked. Hideto sighed and kept doing it as they walked. Hideto didn’t know where they were going, so he could only follow Ken. Izu might have been his home but there were still places he didn't recognize. In the past, he had avoided leaving the areas surrounding the castle simply because he hated hearing what the villagers had to say about him. He loved the people and he was so scared that their comments about him and the demon would make him start to hate them. Things had gotten better over time, of course, but it would still be a long time before he could fully recognize every corner of Izu.

There wasn’t any more conversation as Ken led him through town to a secluded Shinto and Buddhist complex. One of the priests was a childhood friend of Ken’s and he stopped by when he could. Ken had always been a person who preferred deterrence over diplomacy or praying but after some time, he began to see the joys of spending some time alone, meditating and speaking to the gods. He wasn't as devout as priests but devout enough that he had gotten a prayer room in his own quarters.

“Ken-san, it’s nice to see you again so soon.” Ken smiled at his friend. “And, oh! Takarai-sama, what a pleasant surprise.” Ken’s friend bowed, but Hideto wasn’t really paying attention. Ken nodded to his friend and he stood upright again.

“How are things going Ken?” He motioned to welcome them inside. He showed them to a room that looked out onto the rock garden. Hideto did not sit down, however, preferring to stand or pace.

“About the same…” Ken watched Hideto pace, like a caged, but distracted, animal. A soft, long-suffering sigh escaped Ken's lips – Hideto never listened to him.

“Why don’t I go make some tea…” The priest excused himself from the tension-filled room.

"Satoru would hate to see you like this," Ken said knowingly. Hideto turned to look at him for a moment but he just looked away and at the ground before plopping down, running his hand through his hair as his thoughts ran wild – what if Satoru needed his medicine immediately but Kazu had to leave to do work? Or what if Kazu, in his haste to get medicine, got the wrong one for Satoru? He was, after all, not as familiar with the different medicines Satoru had.

"Ow!" Hideto cried out at the sudden smack to the back of his head. It wasn't just a light smack either. Ken had meant for it to hurt. He looked up at his friend immediately. "What the fuck was that for?!"

"To get your mind off of Satoru," Ken replied, expression calm.

"He's my lover. It's only right that I should worry about him."

"Kazu's taking care of him. There's no reason you should worry _this much_."

"Shut up," Hideto hissed with a soft growl escaping his throat – he hated being lectured.

Ken merely raised an eyebrow at the growl, taking it for what Hideto was using it for; a warning. So he shut up about that topic.

"Shindo-san owns this temple," he said instead, changing the topic. "You ever prayed before, Hideto?"

"Yes."

"What was it like?"

Hideto slowly raised his eyes to meet Ken's, feeling some frustration leave him as his thoughts went back to his prayers. Some were for his people, some for himself but most of them were for or about his lover.

"...like I was in a different world," Hideto said softly.

Ken smiled – he knew that feeling well. He was smiling for another reason too, though. As Hideto proceeded to elaborate more on his experiences, not once did Hideto seem to be worrying himself to death over Satoru.

*****

It was a long walk back. Long and quiet.

Predictably, after leaving the temple, his thoughts went back to Satoru immediately. He was walking a bit faster now, eager to go home and see the younger man.

~~~~~

When they returned after sunset, Hideto kicked off his sandals and padded through the mansion to his room, eager to be with Satoru again. Ken followed shortly behind and they saw Kazu peeking into the room.

“Kazu?” He stiffened and turned to face Hideto.

“Ah, good evening…” Kazu gently opened the panel the rest of the way. Hideto’s face fell.

“He… was awake?” He’d missed it.

“Yes… He’s been asleep since about sunset. Got some food and water in him and had a nice talk.”

Hideto stepped forward to look into the room better. In the lamplight he could see Satoru in a yukata, with the thin sheet up to his waist. He was sleeping on his side, knees pulled up a little and his wounded hand was laying on the floor in front of him. He was peacefully asleep.

He hummed in his sleep and Hideto sank to his knees. “Sa-chan…” Ken rubbed his shoulder and noticed he was shaking. But the shaking was in relief. He’d been so worried, and the growl he aimed at Ken earlier worried him too. Would Haido take control and hurt _a friend_ if Satoru was involved? It almost worried him more than Satoru’s health.

Once Hideto had calmed down, he dismissed Ken and Kazu and got ready for bed.

He sat down just inside the door and watched Satoru. _Please wake up in the morning… Please be better…_ He crawled over to Satoru and laid down beside him. He tucked some loose hair behind Satoru’s ear and brushed his brow with his thumb. He wasn’t sure how long he laid there staring at Satoru, but he eventually rolled onto his back and let exhaustion take over.

~~~

Hideto woke to bright light shining through his eyelids and a weight on his chest. He opened his eyes and squinted down. Satoru had moved over several inches and was now using Hideto as a pillow.

He brought his hand up and stroked Satoru’s elbow. He smiled when Satoru shifted in his sleep. “Sa-chan…”

Satoru twitched in his sleep and whined. He started quivering and quietly crying.

“Satoru?” Hideto grasped his lover’s elbow. “Sa-chan.”

Satoru started awake. He picked his head up and looked at Hideto, sleep slowly draining from his eyes.

“What’s up, Sa-chan?” Hideto brushed the back of his hand against the cheek Satoru had been sleeping on. Satoru felt the wetness and wiped Hideto’s chest off. He then rolled onto his back and wiped his face off with his sleeve.

Hideto rolled onto his side and looked at Satoru. “How are you feeling?”

“B-better…”

Hideto felt his chest, “Never knew you could drool this much…” He smiled at Satoru who looked at the older man, curious as to why he didn’t ask if it was tears as well, which it obviously was.

Hideto gently traced his finger down Satoru’s nose. “Do you think you’re up to a bath?” Hideto was curious beyond belief, but he knew better than to bombard Satoru with questions just after he woke up. “We’re both a bit ripe…” he chuckled nervously.

Satoru thought for a moment. Hideto would be there if anything happened. He didn’t feel like anything would happen, so it would be okay, right? He smiled up at Hideto, “Yes.”

Hideto kissed his nose and got everything they needed. He left with an ‘I’ll be back’ and took their things to the bathhouse. He got the bath going and came back for Satoru.

He grudgingly let Hideto help him to the bathroom and then on to the bath house and out of his clothes. He carefully slipped into the water, keeping his injured hand from getting wet. The temperature was perfect. _It’s not the river or lake, but it still feels good…_

Hideto stripped and joined him, sitting behind him and against the side of the tub. Satoru moved between Hideto’s legs and leaned back against him. They were close enough to the side so that Satoru could rest his injured hand out of the water. Hideto wrapped his arms around him and kissed his head.

Though it had been a week, Hideto was still not used to Satoru’s wounds. The bruises were looking better, but it still hurt him to see them. When he figured Satoru had had enough time to wake up, he asked, “How are you feeling?”

Satoru smiled. “I told you, ‘better.’ Much better in your arms…” Satoru’s left hand came up and stroked Hideto’s hands. He didn’t get sappy much, but he really did feel better when Hideto was touching him.

“Ummm… Two days ago… I guess it’s closer to three now…”

Satoru shifted. “I wanted to do it by myself…”

“It?”

“You know how much I dislike people doting on me because of my health… I felt fine… I went to my room to get a book and then went to the bathroom. On the way back, I just felt so tired… It completely wiped me out…”

“Sa-chan… It’s okay to let people help you. What if you’d collapsed somewhere else? Or fallen off the porch? You could have been there for hours and maybe been even more hurt…” He gently held Satoru tighter.

“I’m sorry…” Satoru whispered and sniffed.

~*~*~*~*~*~


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Satoru and Hideto are sleep deprived from Satoru’s nightmares and Hideto tries to fix it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yay! Happy ending!

Hideto sat at his desk, scrutinizing Satoru as he made tea for them both. He noticed little trembles in some of Satoru’s movements, but that comes from his Satoru Sense. No one else would have noticed. It had been 21 days since Satoru’s abduction and rescue. 15 days since he’d been getting stronger every day.

And 14 days since the nightmares had started.

It wasn’t until 10 days ago that the nightmares had started disrupting _Hideto’s_ sleep. They’d started out normal enough: Satoru startling awake, crying, snuggling, and going back to sleep. They were getting worse and Hideto worried that Satoru would accidentally expose their relationship, or that these nightmares might even break Satoru. No matter what Hideto tried, he couldn’t prevent them or stop them, or wake Satoru, once they started. All he could do was restrain Satoru so that he didn’t hurt himself.

And he couldn’t get Satoru to talk about it.

Something was eating at Satoru, he knew that. He guessed that it was something that happened when he’d been abducted. Satoru always had an imagination… Was his mind making stuff up? Hideto wished he could make Satoru tell him so he could _fix it_. But no matter how much he prodded, Satoru wouldn’t elaborate. It was costing him sleep and starting to make him irritable.

He turned his attention back to the papers in front of him. _Something about someone… Blah blah blah. Six pages?_ Why was this drivel even on his desk?

“Hideto?”

“What?!” The sound of wood and ceramic hitting the tatami made him come back to his senses. He’d just snapped at Satoru. _His Sa-chan_. He _never_ snapped at him, even when he felt his crappiest. “I-I…”

Satoru was shaking and starting to clean up what he’d dropped. He kept his face down, to try to hide the instant tears running down his cheeks. _Stupid…_ “I-I’m sorry… I’ll clean this up and leave you al-”

“Sa-chan, I’m so sorry. I…”

Satoru’s hand lingered on a cup after setting it back on the tray. His shoulders jerked and he folded in half, sobbing with his face in his hand. He’d been trying _so_ hard to put on a brave face. He was just _so_ tired, more tired of these nightmares than Hideto was. He woke up exhausted and achy in the morning.

“Sa-chan…” Hideto got up, moved the tray, and pulled Satoru so he could cry on his knees. He stroked Satoru’s shoulders, trying to get him to calm down.

“I’m sorry…” They both started, but Hideto continued, “I didn’t mean to snap at you… I’m just cranky… And some of the papers on my desk are ridiculous. These two farmers are fighting over baby chicks…” That made Satoru’s shoulders twitch in a way Hideto knew wasn’t a sob. Hideto smiled a little and kept going, “One farmer’s rooster got into the other’s henhouse. Now they want me to decide who the chicks belong to… Such petty arguments…”

Satoru sniffed.

“Sa-chan…”

“I just wish things were back to normal…”

“So do I…” He stroked the back of Satoru’s head. “Why don’t’ you go do something with Ken or Kazu?” Satoru shook his head. Hideto had work to do… But Satoru always came first. “Want to go riding?” Another shake. “Sit on the porch?” Yet another shake.

~~~

They spent the afternoon like that, then got some dinner from the kitchen. Great tasting, but nothing compared to what Satoru cooks. At dark, they pretty much collapsed in each other’s arms.

That night was the worst one yet with the thrashing and screaming. It was enough to wake Ken and Kazu in their nearby rooms. Ken came inside to lend moral support and Kazu played interference just in case someone came wondering.

Hideto resolved that he was going to make this better, starting in the morning.

~~~

Satoru forced his eyes open to the brightness of the room. He didn’t have to look around to know that Hideto wasn’t there. As tired as he was, he didn’t _want_ to close his eyes. The nightmares had been too awful for words that night. Satoru shuddered at the thought of them. Why couldn’t he get rid of them? Was he cursed? Did he do something to upset the gods? The tears stung as they welled up in his eyes.

“Sa-chan, time to wake up.” Came Hideto’s cheerful-with a-hint-of-tiredness voice through the door. Satoru wondered what time it was since Hideto sounded so awake. The door slid open and Hideto smiled, happy to see Satoru awake, as he walked in with a four-level bento. “Good Morning Sa-chan.”

“Good morning…” He sat up and wiped “the sleep” from his eyes.

“You ready for some breakfast? Looks yummy today.”

“I’m not real-”

_Grrrrrr_

“Uh huh…” Hideto smiled at Satoru and handed him a pair of chopsticks. He took the top layer off and handed it to Satoru.

“I took the whole day off,” Hideto announced as he picked up the second layer.

“Mwhat?” Satoru said with a mouth full of food.

“Yep. You heard me.” Hideto looked at Satoru seriously. “Now eat.”

~~~

After breakfast and a bath, Hideto set down the rules for the day. Satoru didn’t like them, he wanted to run from them, but he trusted and loved Hideto. He _had_ to do this.

“Now, you’ve been bottling it up for three weeks… What happened?”

Satoru bit his lip and spent the next hour telling Hideto what he knew had happened.

Satoru was now lying on Hideto’s lap, his features being traced by his lover. Hideto was once again upset about the violence done to his love, but his talk with Mizuho had cleared a lot of things up for him.

“What have the nightmares been about?” Satoru shifted with nervousness. “It’s been eating at you for three weeks, Sa-chan… It’s time to let it out…”

A tear slipped from Satoru’s eye. “Th-they’re all variations of what happened… They used to stop with real events and I woke up… But they’ve been getting longer and more vivid and they’re morphing into things that didn’t happen. L-Last night’s…” Satoru hiccupped, on the verge of crying, “Last… night’s…”

“Shhh… You’re alright… Tell me…”

Satoru’s reply was broken up with a lot of sobs, but Hideto could make most of it out: The nightmare men had overpowered Hideto, raped them both, killed Hideto, and kept raping the two of them while mutilating Hideto. No wonder he had thrashed and screamed so much. Hideto should have anticipated this. After he’d fought Itaraki and come home to an almost dead Satoru, he should have realized that something this bad could bring the nightmares back. Add that to the fact that Hideto was the only one Satoru wanted touching him _in that way_ and now some other man had nearly done that…

Hideto spent the next two hours comforting Satoru and listening to his rambling.

It was soon time for lunch and Ken came by with the food. Ken ate lunch with them and then took the dishes back to the kitchen. Hideto had told him of his plans, and while he didn’t like the stress he’d seen in Satoru’s eyes, he could sense that _maybe_ a small weight had been lifted from the younger man’s soul.

Hideto’s next event planned for the day was a walk into town. It was a fight and a half to convince Satoru, but he finally agreed. They got into town with no troubles and had Ken following at a distance just in case something happened.

Hideto meandered them both toward an alley while Satoru was too busy looking at the rest of the street to notice. “Sa-chan, let’s take this shortcut.”

“Hmm?” But they were already in the alley when he realized Hideto had spoken. He scanned the alley and slowed down. “H-Hideto...”

Hideto turned, his grip still solid on Satoru’s left wrist. He looked down at their hands and saw how much Satoru was shaking. “Sa-chan…” He reached up to stroke Satoru’s cheek.

Satoru flinched back and squeezed his eyes shut.

“Sa-chan…” He pulled his lover into his embrace, trying to calm him. They were halfway through this alley already, maybe…

“Sa-chan…” He heard Satoru sob. “Shhhh…” He stroked the back of his head and neck and very slowly took a step back, bringing Satoru with him. Apparently that was too fast because Satoru tightened his grip with a soft ‘no’.

He continued to coddle Satoru and gently bring him through the alley. What should have been a quick 20 strides took them half an hour.

As they were about to pop out onto the street again, Hideto said, “Sa-chan, look up.” And put his finger beneath Satoru’s chin.

Scared eyes looked at Hideto and then realized they were nearly in the street.

“Nothing happened to you, Sa-chan.” Hideto smiled up at him.

“N-n-nothing…” Satoru’s breathing started to calm.

“And, I guess if you want to stay home all the time and not go out, I could understand that… But I’d miss all our walks and such…” He looked up to see if he could guilt trip his lover.

“Th-That one…” He couldn’t even look back at the alley. “That was… Three weeks ago…”

Realization hit Hideto. “Where you were abducted from…”

Satoru nodded and stumbled a little with the force of Hideto’s hug.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t know…”

“It’s okay…” He cautiously hugged Hideto back; they were in public after all. Which Hideto realized and stiffened back up.

Though, Satoru’s prettiness could come in handy. From a distance, the Lord might just be hugging a woman. A _very tall_ woman.

“Let’s finish your errand from that day, huh Sa-chan?”

Satoru sniffed, wiped his eyes, and nodded.

~~~

That night, Hideto stayed awake for as long as he could, watching Satoru sleep. There were some twitches and soft murmurs, but nothing like the nights before. But that was how it usually was.

Satoru would seem to be sleeping just fine, Hideto would fall asleep and well before morning Satoru would be in the claws of a nightmare. It kept Hideto awake the rest of the night, like a guardian spirit. This fear kept Hideto in a light sleep, but his weeks of exhaustion made him give in and he found a deep, restful, dreamless sleep.

As did Satoru.

~*~*~*~*~*~


End file.
